Wednesday, May 28, 2008 Y
我觉得我越来越爱自寻烦恼了！
我必须无时无刻提醒自己, 别再多管闲事，尤其是reds的事！！
要知道“祸从口出”并不是没有它的道理的.
总而言之, 要永保安康, reds的是是非非少管为妙!
记住, 我只是在那儿打工而以, 别给自己惹来一身骚!!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008 -
hearts
Another 6 days, then i will be totally freed!! Woohoo!!
I am experiencing cognitive dissonance now. My cognitions are inconsistent with one another.
I need money so i want to work! But i haven work a lonnnnng time and so i am abit scared. Also, since i haven work for a long time, i am feeling lazy. Yet again, i miss working!
So now you understand my cognitions are not in harmony now.
Fyi, codnitions include behaviour, belief and attitude.
I am so afraid that i cant make it for the 14th outing and 25th appt. What if my work doesnt allow me to leave?? Work ties people down, when you are working, you missed out a lot of things - -opportunity cost!!
Hellp!! i am head over heels in debt!. I still owe Jeric a debt of $700, i am already worrying about the $4000 school fees needed for the next school year, expenditures in the coming month before getting pay, treatment costs and sue is planning to go korea... =( Shit me!
AND why are there always new clothes coming? I cant stop myself from buying those clothes!! I think i contracted the shopaholic disease. Must be it!
I feel relieved that everything seems to be working out fine again between me and her. The random messaging and such. Phew! All those worrying over nothing. haha
I kind of find myself pathetic...i seem to be living for others. not for myself.
Deutsch and Gerald were right saying that people conform because they want to be accepted and liked. 这不是在说我吗？
我好怕失去自我！现在我所说的，所做的，不正是让别人不讨厌我吗？
说难听一点就是在讨好他人吧？
我该怎么办好呢？
其实我只是单纯地希望别人不要不喜欢我。
我...是不是太天真了?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008 -
hearts
我自己都不知道自己到底想怎样。
Monday, May 26, 2008 -
hearts
Wednesday, May 21, 2008 Y
心灵之作 （一）
真够倒霉的了。 刚刚明明还好好的嘛！大热天的又得拖着这么笨重的脚车回去。。。好热喔。"我送你回去吧!"我转过身, 看见那熟悉的紫色轿车, 还有那张只见过两次面, 吃过两顿夜肖的面孔. 我不理会, 只是继续拖着脚车往回家的路走. “我不怪你生我的气，你上车，听我解释好吗？你的脚踏车链已经脱落了，现在又这么晒。。”
我停下脚步，并没有正面看着他，只是说：“那还不快帮我把脚车搬上去。”我上了后车座，望出窗外。 “什么都不用解释，送我回家就行了。”“喂！我家是转左！你要把我带到哪里？”
“我要让你知道我的想法！你必须了解，认识你的时候，我刚刚和前女友分手。还没把心情整理好，还没走出阴霾。当时我也还不确定心里到底想要什么。 我不想伤害你所以才暂时躲避你。 这段期间我想得很清楚。我对你有好感。 我觉得我们可以给彼此机会。 之前没找你的理由也是因为知道你正在准备考试。所以。。”我不作声，只是有想哭的感觉。。
Wednesday, May 21, 2008 -
hearts
"Don't worry about things that you don't have any control over."
This is what i needed to hear most at this very critical moment. I am feeling so negative now and this words really help. Thanks teenage!I am looking forward to June! Filled with lotsa positive situations, i can't wait!
Saturday, May 17, 2008 -
hearts
Tedious.Finally the scariest part of the exam is over - Accounting. I can't believe i only spent 7 days (!) brushing up this yucky module and go to the exam hall. 7 days ago i was actually crying my eyes out not being able to attempt a single question.The paper wasnt as bad as i thought. But then again, it's only what "i thought". Whether or not i will pass, it's still a 未知数。2 more papers to go...I just realised theres always a subject that will make me cry. Last year, it was maths, and it was accounting this time round. Econs used to make me cry too. haha i am a crybaby!
I can't wait to go back to work! I am cash strapped and on the other hand maybe cos i am sick of studying. Just as it turn out, A is really going out with him. Haha most of us already predicted it. Haiz. i really self pity myself. I've no bestfriend, I'm not smart, i don't have the look, I never have a relationship before.... I am failure huh? Aquarians are born loners. Just now i went to TPY, hung around with her and her bf, Herman for a while. We were in the same geog class in JC days. But, he doesnt rmb me at all. This proves how 不起眼 i am.Where is my white Charger?! I dont mind a black one....嫁不出就嫁不出吧！Just let me pass all my papers...I think i must be too stressed up! Or 日有所思也有所梦。I keep worrying about our friendship that i even dreamt about it. That our relationship sours and I was in the train with buddy, crying and telling her about it.WHat is happening to me? pessimistic, low self esteem, 杞人忧天...
Friday, May 16, 2008 -
hearts
精疲力尽。
已经熬了好几天的夜了。
精神快负荷不了！
终于开始考试了。
开始没有想象中的坏。
接下来还有多三场仗要打！加油吧！
今天考完试后，马不停蹄地赶到义顺。欢迎buddy加入21岁一族！很快就要轮到angie了。
今天真的玩得很开心！好久没有像今天这样大快朵颐了！一桌的美食，在座的每个人都吃到撑了！哈哈。
我觉得我和她之间的友谊好像生疏了。见面的时候，说话啊什么的都是很不自然。
发简讯也不会应，总之就是没有以前那么要好了。。
我是个很敏感的人。像这样的事发生，我一定会觉得问题是否出在我身上， 是我做了什么让她对我反感吗？
我不会说我们是非常好的朋友或知己， 因为我们连一次争吵都没有。就算意见不相投， 我想我们也不会熟到可以摊牌。对我来说，只有经过争吵和一点风雨，感情才会变得更坚固，更亲密，更加了解彼此。
虽然如此，我还是非常珍惜这位朋友。就算不能成为知己，也希望友谊能细水长流。
只能感叹我没有拥有好朋友的命了！以前是这样，现在也是这样，以后更不用说了。。
Friday, May 09, 2008 -
hearts
我自己都不知道自己到底想怎样。