Dear Daniel, I am so tired!累，累，累！Haven been updating blog & online for the past few days. Ever since i started working, i never have a time of my own. I wake up at 730 reach home at 11pm. What kind of job is this?! 5/6/08 THursI was really looking forward to work. Chirpy & laughing at anything. Until some things happen which likd of upset me (i can't rmb what) so it spoiled my mood for the whole day. And i was secretly wishing that i could be transfered back to bugis... During closing, i really no mood le. Keith seemed to notice it so he started to joke around with me perhaps to make me feel better.6/6/08 FriI made quite a number of mistakes at work: spilled coke, forget to prepare the performance sheet & assistants point form etc.. So i started to blame myself for being do stupid. Altho i know i made these blunders cos i haven been working for months suddenly i cant switch from studying mode to working mode. I am still not used to working. BUT i still cant forgive myself. No excuse for my poor performance at work. I am quite a perfectionist when working cos i want everyone to be happy and satisfied with my performance. I want to be liked and doted! But i can sensed that keith was happy with me today. He din even looked at me when i said bye to him. Once again, i feel very upset. I am not looking forward to working on saturday le. I was messaging with laogong the whole night that i want to work at bugis, begging her to change with me, that i dont want to work with xiangli cos not close with her, telling her i will call michelle to ask her to transfer me to pbj...7/6/08 SatMy mood really down to the bottom le. Then because i haven work for a long time, i really got no pocket money. so i ask my sis if she can lend me $2 but she said she oso no money le so i turn to my bro but he doesnt want to lend me (never seen anyone as stingy as him le lo!)! This spoils my mood further so i just broke down. I really had enough! Not happy working ang have such selfish bro. My sis kind of pity me so she said she can lend me $2 but i rejected. i really cried my tears out. Crying and crying and crying all the way to mrt. When i couldnt reach bf, i Called bf to pour my sorrows and she doesnt know what to do haha. so i was like laughing and crying at the same time and i really dread to go to work tat very day!! Even tot of calling jeric! No mood to go to keith's bday party at ni9ht le. reached home at 130am. Keith's bday was fun, at partyworld a couple of songs, had some cakes... i feel so happy when my colleagues said my singing is nice. keke. They said it was not "me". Took a lot of pictures and keith was so crazy very unlike the keith at work!haha. at least this is some thing which makes me feel happier.8/6/08 Sunwhich is today!! What can i say? today is the most happiest day for me! Why? Cos keith is off today! I feel so much relaxed and happier. Can also do things smoothly lo...compared to normal days, so tensed up and stressed.. very happy!! But i am very pissed off by jack! forget it. don talk about him makes me mad.laogong and bf are my closest colleagues le! Cant imagine life at work without them... One is older than me by one year and the other 3 years. But what their thinking is mature and what they say always enlighten me. I hate politics, backstabbing, badmouthing people! I asked bf why chitchatting with friends is never a gossiping act but with colleagues is gossiping leh? She said cos we have nothing in common with colleagues so can only gossip so that theres something to chat. I thikn this is so true lo... And i always mind and pessimistic thinking could that person dislike me? laogong said we shouldnt waste our feelings and feel sad. we shouldnt be affected by them. Instead, we can direct out feelings and feel happy to those who like us. Then laogong say. in big rabbit's heart, i am the first. she oso told me Jim once told her i come first too (which really surprised me). And she believes that jeric dotes on me more than any other receps. Then i realised that why am i always be bothered with who doesnt like me butv i never tot of those who really treats me very good. She told me that because xiangli is only 17 yrs old thats why people dote on her whereas i mam 21 years old already so people will try to treat me like normal colleagues. which i why i hate to grow up! haha. anyway i really straightened my thoughts so i will try to stay happy everyday, tho i still wish to be working at bugis..ps: laogong-xinyang; bf-hazel
Sunday, June 08, 2008 -
hearts
