Thursday, January 15, 2009 Y
The longest entry of the month
I've read from somewhere (some magazines) that women are better at multi-tasking than men, which is what i am doing right now - Reading cleo, blogging, playing games on facebook, online shopping AND chatting with a friend - and i think i am pretty good at it. haha
I thought our dance instructor was going to be Eddy but it was Gary. To my surprise, Gary actually remembers me, when he only taught me one lesson which was really a very long long time ago, and he said i changed my hairstyle. Okay, that shows that i'm not so plain Jane such that nobody takes notice of me.
I was hoping to see familiar faces but they were mostly new faces, which makes me panic because that means i have to get myself used to new people all over again. Not easy for me! I am socially retarded - not what angie said i am, a social butterfly. haha
I was half hoping R will not come to dance today because that would make me feel very awkward, especially if we are partnering up. He did turn up today though but only at the last 30 min before the class ends and i disappear right after i paid the fees.
Omg! I am happy and excited! Guess what!? When i was dancing with Gary, he said:"Good!" to me! I feel flattered, high, elated, on cloud 9 and actually abit proud of myself! keke! I can't even remember when was the last time i was praised by someone. I like being praised! A boost to my morale! =)
Thers's no dance next week! Haiz! I only look forward to dancing now. Just as ping is obsessed with short hair, i am obsessed with dancing. And i bet there also wont be any lesson the week after next due to chinese new year.
***
I am caught in a web of LIES I weaved myself and i don't know how to clear the mess because before i can even figure out how to get out of it, more lies will be weaved. I just seem to have the flair in telling lies, it comes out naturally.
R texted me just now to ask if i want to study together, my reply was:" my frens & i already form a study group with all our free time".
In fact, i din wan to study with him because i know we wont be productive.
Excuses & lies i ever came up with:
"I am sick"; "my frens say twilight is not nice"; "I am gg out with my frens till late at night"; "we decided to go to a fren's house"; "I am working the whole week"; "I bought all my clothes already"; "my fren's gg home with me"; "i got makeup lesson". Etc.
While typing this blog, i'm also telling a lie at the same time, to the person i am chatting with, R.
The truth behind:
I am perfectly healthy & kicking; in fact only 1 out of 5 frens says twilight is not nice; I stayed at home the whole day; hanging out with a fren; I am actually Not working at all; i still need to get more cny stuffs; in fact i went home alone; i don't have any makeup lesson.
The conclusion: I just don't want to go out with you. Simple.
I don't want to be mean or deliberately avoiding, i don't hate/detest/ dislike you, but...(indescribable)
Is he just thick in the head or my lies are too subtle that he doesn't get my hint? Or is he just pretending?
***
There's one more lie i told my parents. I din really LIE, just that i did not say it explicitly or clearly or tell them straight in the face or whatever you call it. Just NOT lying cos i don feel good lying to them.
***
My newly thought-up beauty-regime:
1. A mug of water every morning
2. An orange or more daily (for health purpose as well)
3. A mask every night/ alternate nights
4. 川贝枇杷膏 before sleep
I decided that since I always succumb to skin-unfriendly food like chocolates, fries, spicy food (despite umpteen promises to myself that i will not touch them anymore) I shall do a couter-attack to balance lo!
I work really hard to take care of you. So skin, do not disappoint me!
***
One of my 21st bday wish and also 2008 wish was to get myself hitched before my 22nd bday. But looking at it, i doubt it's going to come true. On second thots, it's not a bad thing afterall.
Before 3rd school year begins, i told sharon:" Ron, we are going to get a boyfriend in yr3." Because i thought, if we can't even find one during school days, do you tHink the chances will be higher in the working society or wherever we work?? Apparently not, perhaps even harder ba???
I see lovey-dovey couples on trains, in schools, anywhere, and some friends around me who are attached. I am going to be brutally honest, but i teeny bit (maybe a bit more) wish I am like one of them.
Then again, when i imagine myself with a boyfriend, i don't really like it! Especially when i encouter the R- & J-incidents, i am actually put off! After much analysing, i think i'm overly comfortable being alone, someone else would have to be an intrusion!
So, the feelings of wanting to be attached, should be because i never had the experience before and i just want to have a taste of it. haha!! And so, one of Aquarius traits marrying at a much later age is true afterall!!!
***
I sucks at consoling people! Yesterday a fellow called me and told me that he had put his dog to sleep. It's sad but the thing is i don't know what to say! In the first place, we are not that close, and then i was like so idiotic and silly. Oh well!
***
I've been getting this hunger pangs of late and i couldn't stop eating. It's like i am never full even if i just polish off my meal. For eg, i ate a stick of bueno right after dinner the other day. I guess i am already full but i just feel like having chocolate. Cravings. I can't really do much to stop cravings, i always indulge myself.
Imagine i control my cravings, i will think about it on the way home, at home while watching tv and this thot just wont leave my mind I just have to eat it tomorrow. And if i still manage to control the next day, i'll think about it all day long and the next few days UNTIL i finally can't stand it Aiya buy la. Then regret after eating.
So the worry now is my weight! my figure! My stomach is showing! Gowd, i dunno what to do with it. The only consolation: The needle of the weighing scale never points more than 50kg. Phew.
Thursday, January 15, 2009 -
hearts
