Yesterday i did yet another good deed by agreeing to watch a movie with Ricky. Actually my MAIN motive was to get back my notes which he had hogged for more than 2 weeks. Going out with him is purely 顺便.

Disclaimer: In the first place, i DID NOT EVEN WANT to lend it to him. I lied about my friend had borrowed them blah blah. After that I felt guilty, so..... Haiz, I am such a letdown right!?

My conscience always make me do things against my own will!

We went to grab some bite after the show. Actually he did, i only ordered drink. And i saw something HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!

I was disgusted at the sight of it and i almost puke. Behind my face was a mixture of strong feelings, yet i had to pretend normal in front - a super fake smile pasted on a what?-i-din-see-anything face.

Can you imagine, a person who is sitting right in front of you has no idea at all he has muscus hanging in his nostrils????????????

Argh! just typing this out makes me shudder with disgust.

I couldn't stand looking at him for another minute, another milisecond. My eyes were darting everywhere else but there.

I told this to Sandy and Angie. And guess what their reaction is?? They are on his sides! I can't believe it!

It's 2 against 1 now.

I've to tell this to sueann. I 101% sure she will be on my side.

I'm Oh My God! head over heel infatuated with him!!!!! Since day 1 I've been noticing him. Whenever I go to class, i would be looking for him to see if he's there. And every now and then I would steal glances at him.

I can describe this feeling using an econs model. The feeling for him increases gradually at the beginning and slowly accelerating, now running at full speed, in fact lightning speed, showing no sign of stopping.

He's someone from my icp lecture, he's knowledgeable & smart, his voice is sexy, he's partly the reason I look forward to tuesday, he's rubin.

Now there are only 2 lessons (Next tues & Fri) left. I know I just had to do something. But, what?

Someone just had to crash my dream. Jeremy texted me saying that our lecturer had asked their class to join us next Fri. This is 晴天霹雳 news to me!

Why does this has to happen to me??? The last thing i want is to be in the same class with him, sitting together, breathing the same air! And He said I have to play host.
What the.... Urgh!

Luckily something I did lifted my mood! I found rubin on facebook! The question now is whether to add him or not. I don't want to risk him not accepting me. So adding him or not will have to wait till next tues.

I think I am man-craze. haha. Ping don laugh. Now you know who i am taking about le ba. Not much of an excitement actually. hehe.

On the night of Vday, i dreamt of Sandy and Shang singing karaoke at some place (like kbox/ partyworld)

I told Sandy about it the next day. And she told me they really went to sing at partyworld on Vday! She "haha" and said "it's amazing".

This really gives me the creep especially on top of the eye-twitchin premonition for relief teaching thrice, it's quite scary to picture me as the prophet. Wow.

I am so hard up now that i am tightening my belt and trying to control my out-of-control-(isn't it ironic?)-splurging-on-clothes disorder.

Not only that, I am also trying to take up as much (as if there are a lot) reliefing teaching as possible, actually i should rephrase, I am trying NOT to reject as much relief teaching as possible.

It's so hard to have the best of both worlds!!!! In this case, money & study. I wish to earn money but at the same, i do not wish to jeopardise my studies, especially now that exams are nearing. However, given my current school timetable, I'm always caught up in a dilemma!

Argh vexed! I curse whoever invented money because you make my life so miserable!

I just realised that jobs I had taken up vary from a wide range - Admin, Recep, Teaching, Modelling. They are not at all of the same industry! Usually this isn't the case for other people ba? Like if you are a cook, you are forever a cook. Well, unless you decide a change.

For me, in just a few years, i've tried jobs totally of different nature. Sounds cool. But i suppose it wont look good on my resume.

So, on Vday, Cupid has successfully brought together 2 persons.

My future is bleak! I can't picture myself with another person! I only see myself!

I can't imagine myself holding his hands, texting & speaking sweet nothings to him, caring for him, comfort him, satisify him, touching him, talking on the phone with him, going out with him, laying my head on his shoulder, patient with him...

I am better off being alone.

Yes. I can see myself working in the society, after one yr of working my butt off, pursue my Masters (hopefully). Yes. I can see myself doing part time as TaiTai at the same time I can choose to work full time or part time. I really find small kids adorable so i might still be reliefing.

I am better off being single.

I can't remember how many birthdays I've celebrated but this year's i enjoyed the most. It was heartwarming!

Because presents i received are something i wished for and most importantly, i realised my friends are all 无价之宝. hehe You know who!


I had a Queen of Hearts birthday cake, a birthday pizza & a hello kitty birthday agar agar.


On 7/2/2009:














Kylie & I went to sing. Yes. Just the 2 of us, singing from 230 to 7pm.

I would've prefered to celebrate the day with my friends but it fell on a weekday so it would be hard to arrange for all to meet.

There was this Kbox birthday treat which includes a bithday cake, 2 glasses of drink per pax and 20% off the total bill. But we never got to eat the cake. I told the stuff to take the cake in at 6pm but for some reason, the cake never appears.

So, Kylie bought me the Queen of Hearts cake to bring home. Without a cake, it just would not be birthday anymore.

The presents had been sitting in a corner since 8th feb and i had so much trouble curbing myself from opening them before the actual day.

Ping, as i was saying about the big kiss,




See this hershey kiss is larger than my mouse! I told angie eating it would be like eating ba zang (rice dumpling). Can't bring myself to eat this fuji mountain cos it's just too cute and I am imagining myself eating from the tip and gnawing it all the way down to the bottom.


A chocolate cake that jumped out from the tile!


My cousin bought this mag for me because she said I look like her. She's not the first to say so! Angie said my eyes look like her; big rabbit said i resemble her; previous previous supervisor said i speak like her. Can I choose to look like Jesseca Liu?? I like her more.


Now there's a reason to stock up more books!


Bird nest bird nest i luv you!

Other pressies I got include Clothes, soft toy (the last thing i want, thank god my friends know me well enough), ornament, bedsheets, cards, candies, mani & pedi, red packet & meals!

On 12/2/2009:


Initially Kylie and I planned to have our lunch before our mani/pedi session. But, Innova Primary called me to relief! I think I have the ability to predict (To be elaborated). So the lunch was cancelled. Right after I rushed home, showered, make up & rushed out again. I was practically doing everything at lightning speed.


Very satisfied with my french mani but boo hoo for the pedi! It's lovely! BUT, i ruined it while dancing. I had no choice but to wear covered shoes ma! So, i only owned the beautiful toes for like less than 3 hours. =(


O yes, the mani/pedi was a birthday gift from kylie =)

I feel so fortunate! ^^

I was saying I have the ability to predict. I noticed that whenever my eyes twitched vigorously, I would be called to relief the next day. No joke!!!

Up to date, I've reliefed 3 times and 3 times my left lid twitched the day before. I am a prophet!

Who wants numbers?

(Crude Contents)

I don't understand them at all! (Them here refering to guys.)

Because I am feeling charitable at that moment (I must have been out of mind) and because i feel bad so i said ok. But is this what i am supposed to get in return?

You can see I had dug my own grave and now here i am, blood boiling and complaining and wondering how the heck i got myself entangled into this in the first place. Why do i have to make my own life so miserable when i should be pampering myself, emotionally that is.

i betrayed myself. Argh!

The question: The problem lies in me, that i am being unreasonable, or is it them, being the problematic ones?

Anyone in the right mind would not watch a movie at 940pm! (Right ping? Angie? SOmeone agree with me please)

Can somebody explain to me why do they like to hang out late at night ar? These 2 persons keep asking me out that i am DESPERATELY in need of excuses and lies. I felt guilty so i decided ok why not just go along and see what they have up their sleeves. (I am describing as if they are some villains, haha)

I said ok because i do not know we will be watchin it so late. Now i can't back out. I hate myself for that. I am angry. 但是我不知道我是在生自己的气还是他的气。

It's too late to say i can't make it. BEcause he has pre-empt me by texting me saying i cannot put aeroplanes. It's important.

As if i care. *Rolled my eyes*

I had a strong urge to reply: Whats so important about it. It's just a movie ok. No big deal.

Of cos i din. I am sympathetic.

With determination, I am definitely going to find out the reason why they like to hang out at night. Because of the fact that the person who is going to suffer ultimately is me.

So i asked Ricky. And his answer couldn't have been lamer.

" hot in the day"
" school and study in the day"
" can send them home"

What the... SOme people just need some slap in the face.

Jeremy said there's transport (tonight, the movie).

For god's sake, don't you get it that it's not transport I am worried about?! I just hate to be not at home when it's so late already!!

(Side note: Is it just me or it happens to others as well that as we grow older we don't like to be anywhere else outside our home after a certain time of the day? Well, at least for me, i would prefer to be home before 10/11pm. This, I am definitely going to make it clear to my future bf, that is if there's any.)

So, tonight, i will be sitting in some goddamned cinema watchin some goddamned movie with some XX guy, when i should be at the comfort of bed reading Keeping Faith or surfing the net.

Damn it.

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Name:Silver
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